5 Months Later...

So much for a trip blog. Oops.

It may or may not be about 5 months later...cough. But let's just say it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. With teaching dance, teaching 1st grade, trying new foods, driving through spectacular scenery, making new friends, I fell in love with the country. I'm praying that I get to return in the near future, while also trying to surrender my plans to the Lord.

That's such a hard thing to comprehend, much less live out. I'm the type who likes being in control, and I love making lists and plans. Organization definitely isn't my gift, but I like having goals. Actually, I can't operate without them. So surrendering my plans to God...it's a struggle. I know laying down my own plans does not mean a stagnant lifestyle. But it's definitely a temptation to disguise laziness as obedience.

So many times I fell so sure of God's plan for me, so sure actually, that I don't feel the need to ask Him whether it's right. Great plan, huh? And then I get so angry when it all falls apart around me, quick to blame God for my own folly.

So presently, I am trying to grow. I am trying to wait patiently. I am trying to listen and converse with God, not only make lists of things I want. So even something that seems so good, like where I am going to end up on the missions field, I have to loosen my clenched fists. And it's not an overnight process, it's one white-knuckled finger at a time.

"Whether you turn to the left or the right, you will hear a Voice saying: "This is the road! Now follow it." Isaiah 30:21